


Without Darkness, There is No Light

by mackenziemchale



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Pre-series flashback, post S1, pre S2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24809800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mackenziemchale/pseuds/mackenziemchale
Summary: She wasn’t sure how many more punches to the gut and knives to the heart she could take today, but by the looks of it this wasn’t going to be the last.
Relationships: Will McAvoy/MacKenzie McHale
Comments: 8
Kudos: 14





	Without Darkness, There is No Light

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration for this comes from The West Wing end of season one and beginning of two. If you know, you know.
> 
> One more thing, massive shoutout to my friend AL (whatkindofday on here- read her one shot!!) she was a big help with this and I wouldn’t have been able to write this without her. Thank you AL!
> 
> Enjoy!

“Does she ever get this upset with you?” Will asks as he stands next to his senior producer, Jim Harper, in the elevator as they ride down it together to the lobby of the AWM building.

The two were heading out for a conference, Will was supposed to take Mackenzie since she was his executive producer but after a heated argument she insisted on taking Jim instead.

“Are you done shouting at me? We have a conference to be at in twenty minutes” Will remembers saying. 

He could still see her angered face staring back at him, eyes filled with annoyance and shooting daggers each time she looked at him. This argument had gone further across the line than he intended it to go but at that point it was too late to take back the words they had said.

It started with Will being stubborn, as he had a tendency of being, about a story Mac wanted to cover in tonight’s show. At this point he couldn’t remember what it was, something about a new bill that was trying to be passed. The story had become lost as their argument shifted, as a lot of their arguments did, to why Will kept her at arm's length. It was why he tortured her with the plethora of women he paraded around the bullpen every night. Once the argument took a turn for the worse, it kept going from there and it was as if they hit an ice covered hill on a sled during the winter because it just plummeted downward.

Will had said he hated her, though she was first to shout it at him in the heat of the moment, he had shouted it right back. 

It wasn’t true, for either of them. Will had explicitly told her that he didn’t hate her during a previous fight and he knew he didn’t. It was blatantly obvious to everyone around them that they were still in love, that he was still in love. Mac had been open about it while Will hadn’t been and didn’t know if he ever would be. It was something at times that he couldn’t admit to himself because of how torn his heart and brain were. His brain was insistent that the betrayal she had put him through was unforgivable but his heart had skipped forgiveness and ran straight to the finish line. Forgiveness wasn’t what his heart cared about, that was all his brain.

“I’m not going anywhere with you. You can take Jim or hell, you can take some random person on the street. I really do not give a damn at the moment. I don’t want to be anywhere near you for the rest of eternity” he remembers her fuming and soon after storming out of his office.

That was how he ended up in the elevator with Jim headed to the conference, which was being held in another part of Manhattan. 

“Are you talking about Mac?” Jim questions.

“Yeah,” Will replies as he steps out of the elevator first while Jim follows, “did you hear the screaming match we had just before I asked you to go to this with me?”

“Oh I heard it, I’m pretty sure Reese and Leona heard it on the 44th. I’m surprised Charlie didn’t come down to break you two apart.”

“I don’t think even Charlie could’ve broken us up” Will says as they near the exit of the AWM building.

“You never answered my question” he points out before stepping out of the building with Jim close behind.

A car was waiting for them at the edge of the sidewalk and neither Will nor Jim had a great sense of what was going on in their surroundings, what was lurking as they were inching closer to the car. 

“No, she doesn’t get that mad at me” Jim finally answers.

There’s a moment where Lonny, Will’s bodyguard, who was standing by the car and watching over the two men as they approached, notices a person who gave off the wrong feeling. He was wearing a monochromatic outfit— all grey. He was sporting a grey baseball cap and looked to be in his twenties. It was hard to pinpoint what was off about the man, there was just something deep in Lonny that knew this man wasn’t good news.

Lonny looks around for a moment as he realizes the man standing in a crowd of people who were on a constant move was completely still. Everyone else had somewhere to be and was in some sort of rush to get there. He was trying to be discreet but trying to discreet is what Lonny looked for on a daily basis. 

He was too late. It happened quicker than his reflexes could even comprehend. Multiple gunshots filled the air of the busy Manhattan street soon followed by screams of bystanders trying to go about their lives. Everyone ran and Jim, half Will’s size, tackled him to the ground attempting to protect his boss. The bullets seemed to be aimed directly at them. More specifically, at Will.

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Mackenzie was sitting in her office, burying herself in any work that she could to forget about the horrible fight she and Will just had. To be frank, she had no idea what she was even working on; she was just trying to find any sort of distraction, big or small.

It takes several minutes for Mac to realize the distraction isn’t working as she notices that she kept rereading the first line of an email sent to her over and over. Her brain wouldn’t process what it said because it kept trying to go back to their fight. Now that Will was gone she could process the nasty things they had said to each other in the heat of the moment. They said stupid, shitty things but nothing could be as awful and downright mean as when she blurted out that she hated him. Mackenzie hadn’t meant it and she knew she didn’t as the words came out of her mouth quicker than her brain could process. Hearing him shout it back hurt, but nothing hurt quite as much as the look in his eyes when she said it. Annoyance and anger were written across his face but his eyes could never tell a lie, they were an insight to how he really felt and she could see how badly those words hurt him.

A heaviness sinks in but before she could wallow in it too long, a knock comes at the door. Mac looks up and sees her associate producer, Maggie Jordan, standing on the other side of the door. 

“Come in,” Mac invites.

Maggie steps into the room, “you’re not busy are you?”

“No, actually looking for a much needed distraction. What can I do for you Maggie?” She asks, putting on a façade to cover up how awful she was feeling.

“I was wondering if you could give me some advice-”

Maggie is cut off by Mac when she hears a popping sound in the distance. It sounded like gunshots and she knew that sound all too well. “Did you hear that?” she questions.

“I- no. Hear what?”

Mackenzie stands up from her desk and walks over to her window and when she peeks out is met with the sight of people running and the sounds of the distant screams of people below as they moved as fast as they could away from the area.

“Oh my god…” she says.

“What?” Maggie questions.

Just as that question leaves her mouth, Neal rushes into Mac’s office, “there’s been a shooting. It’s all over Twitter.

Her stomach flips upside down as he confirms her suspicions. A shooting in the middle of the day with thousands of people trying to go about their lives? It seemed obvious yet at the same time she couldn’t believe it.

“Who were they shooting at? Was it just randomly into a crowd of pedestrians?” Maggie questions.

Mac was silent as her brain starts putting together pieces of a puzzle she didn’t want to complete. Will had only left close to ten minutes ago now, he quite possibly could’ve been on the streets when the shooting started.

“Will…” She blurts out.

Neal and Maggie stop their conversation mid sentence and look up at her, “aren’t he and Jim on their way to a conference?” Neal asks.

Mac doesn’t respond, instead she rushes to her desk where her phone was sitting and immediately dials Will’s number, “please pick up… please pick up” she begs quietly.

The line rings and rings eventually leading to his voicemail. That only sends more fear through her as she considers that he could’ve been the shooter's target. He had been the victim of countless death threats in the past but it wasn’t simple to narrow down which were serious and which were internet trolls.

Mac begins walking toward the door, she needed to go to Charlie immediately. “Neal, start gathering any and all information that’s coming from Twitter. Find out if they apprehended the shooter.” She opens the door to her office and continues, “Maggie call Jim and see if you can get a hold of him. Maybe they’re hiding somewhere and Will couldn’t get to his phone.

She was trying to rationalize this, come up with any other situation than the one she knew was most likely true. The target had to be Will, the timing was too close for it not to be. That fact was one she wasn’t ready to accept until someone could one hundred percent confirm it for her.

Rushing out of her office, Mac shifts her attention to the rest of the staff, “everyone! There’s been a shooting just outside the AWM building. I need all hands on deck to find out as much information as you can.” She holds back on the part that it was likely Will who the shooter was after. There was no reason to send the staff into a tizzy if it wasn’t true. 

“Mac,” Charlie’s saddened tone felt like a punch in the gut. Another punch came when she saw his face as he approached, the sorrow look was hard to miss. She didn’t have to ask to know what he was going to tell her.

“Where are they?”

“Presbyterian. You should get over there.”

She wasn’t sure how many more punches to the gut and knives to the heart she could take today, but by the looks of it this wasn’t going to be the last. The confirmation that Will and Jim were in fact at the hospital stung, even if she already suspected it.

“Who’ll tell the staff?”

Charlie looks out into the bullpen at all of the hardworking staff members and back at her, “I’ll handle it. There’s a car waiting for you already to take you to Presbyterian” he informs.

“What about the shooter?”

“Shot himself. The shooting’s over, but you need to get to Presbyterian. Will’s in bad shape.”

Mac stares at him for a moment as everything around her seems to come to a stop. Bad shape, Will was in bad shape. The shooting may be over, but the worst of it has only just begun.

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The waiting room is dreadfully quiet, Mackenzie has always hated waiting rooms. She usually didn’t peg herself to be impatient but when it came to these damn waiting rooms, it always drove her up the wall. There was nothing to do except sit and wait as time passed slower than usual. She could read a magazine or play on her phone but truth be told she didn’t want to. Nothing was going to distract her mind from the fact that both Will and Jim were in surgery and she had no idea how either was doing. 

She found solace in the fact that she didn’t have to sit alone for too long, in fact the entire senior staff was sitting with her and so was Charlie. Part of her wanted to tell them to get back to work, that they could be here for hours. The other part didn’t care and seeing the senior staff be there for Will and Jim was touching. When she and Jim first joined the team, Will didn’t know anyone’s name except for Mackenzie’s. He had never cared to learn. Now, she was pretty sure he would lay down his life for any one of them and they were willing to do the same. 

Mac glances over at the entrance to the waiting room again and lets out a quiet sigh when she doesn’t see a doctor approaching the room. She just wanted to know that they were both stable. If Will’s wounds were fatal, there wasn’t a chance in hell she would ever be able to come back from that. Losing him was an unimaginable thought but piling the fact that she told him she hated him and that she didn’t want to see him for the rest of eternity on top made it that much worse. How cliche of them to get in one of their worst fights and one of them gets into an accident not even twenty minutes later.

She wanted to just cry, to full on sob but she was fighting that urge every second. It wasn’t like she hadn’t lost her mind in front of the staff before, but she really didn’t want to start fully blubbering in front of them. Putting on a brave face was better, she was their boss after all and she needed to try and be strong for all of them.

Mac could see from across the room that Maggie was wiping tears every now and then. Pulling herself up, Mac walks over and sits in the empty chair next to her and without a word, puts her arm around the twenty six year old. Ever since she first met Maggie, Mac always had this instinct to want to look after her. She knew Don had never been right for her and when she learned they broke up, there was a certain relief. Mac had called Maggie after learning about it and reminded her that if she needed anything, to just give her a ring. It had to be some sort of motherly instinct that Mac didn’t even realize was in her that drew her to wanting to look after Maggie.

“It’s going to be alright” she whispers and listens as Maggie sniffles.

Mac wished she believed those words, but she had no idea if it was going to be alright. She wanted to hope that their wounds weren’t as bad as originally thought but the words, “Will is in bad shape” kept replaying in her mind. 

“Have you eaten anything today? I can take you somewhere and get you some food,” Mac offers.

“Have you?” Maggie counters with a sniffle.

She hadn’t eaten since breakfast at eight this morning and it was nearing one in the afternoon. Her own well-being was Mac’s last concern, she’d be fine. She was more concerned with Maggie at the moment. 

“Don’t worry about me,” Mac insists.

“I’m alright,” Maggie replies, “I’m not really hungry and I don’t want to leave in case the doctor shows up.”

She nods and the room goes silent again, everyone either staring at the floor, the wall, or the muted tv playing ACN. 

(One of the receptionists had turned the channel over to ACN upon realizing that the entire senior staff of ACN’s most popular show was there).

It feels as if several years pass until finally a tall man in a lab coat walks into the waiting room with a clipboard, “I assume you’re the  _ News Night  _ staff?” he questions.

Everyone nods, “and the president of ACN, I’m Charlie Skinner” he says.

“Are- are they okay?” Mac chimes, it was hitting her that she was about to learn whether or not two people she cared very deeply about would make it out of this alright.

“Will is still in surgery, it could take up to twelve hours. The bullet just barely managed to miss important organs and the doctors have been working hard to remove it without causing any further damage.”

Some relief fills Mac as the doctor finishes speaking. She didn’t like that he was still in surgery and she was still incredibly scared that something could go wrong, but for now she found comfort knowing he was still alive. She knew Will, he was going to get through this and that thought alone was something that would keep her going for the rest of the hours he’s in surgery.

“What about Jim?” Neal pipes up from his seat.

“Jim is out of surgery but we ask to limit the amount of people seeing him to just a few at a time. The bullet had a clear entry and exit wound and missed all critical organs. He’s stable and should be awake very soon.”

Another bit of relief fills her as she hears that. Jim was one of her closest friends, they had a bond that only the two of them understood, having both been in the same war zone. Knowing he was going to be okay and fully recover lifted some of the worry she felt.

Mac thanks the doctor before turning back to everyone, “Maggie, Neal, Charlie, we’ll go in first to see Jim and from there we’ll rotate and figure out the rest of the day.”

Everyone nods in agreement and Maggie, Neal, and Charlie get up from their seats. Mac follows as the doctor leads all four of them to Jim’s room.

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The sound of the heart monitor beeping and surgeons along with nurses shuffling around the room, speaking when necessary fills the operating room. It was going on hour three of Will’s surgery. The bullet had been removed by now but the doctors were working on stopping the internal bleeding and had been for the last hour. Will wasn’t in the best shape, but these doctors knew what they were doing and were confident in his chance of coming out of this okay.

He was still under anesthesia completely unaware of what was going on while his mind danced with memories of his past.

**State Dinner of 1992**

_ The State Dining room was filled to the brim with various highly important figures from ambassadors to White House staff members, all the way to the top with the president himself. Will had to admit, even though he was a speechwriter for the president he didn’t feel nearly important enough to be here. The first lady and the vice president were all here.  _

_ His eyes scan the room as he looks for the table he had been assigned to, he knew it couldn’t be too far from the president’s table.  _

_ After several minutes of searching, Will finds his table and notices it was only occupied by one other person so far. The evening had only  _ _ began so everyone else had plenty of time to get in and take their seats before the five course meal started.  _

_ It just so happened that his seat was right next to the brunette haired woman who was the only other person occupying the table at the moment. She was facing away from him so Will couldn’t get a look at who it was to verify if it was someone of high importance or someone closer to his level.  _

_ “This evening is just a total snooze fest isn’t it?” he jokes as he takes a seat down next to her. _

_ He hears a laugh before she turns, “totally, I can’t say I’m ready to listen to the speech the president has for us tonight.” _

_ “Not even to the speech yet and someone’s already ripping apart my work,” Will jokes. _

_ The woman finally turns to face him and her hazel eyes meet his blue, his heart does a flip as he realizes the sheer beauty sitting next to him. To think, he almost considered sitting this dinner out and could’ve missed out on meeting this woman he now desperately wanted to get to know. _

_ “You’re the president’s speechwriter?” _

_ “One of them, I helped write tonight’s speech. I’m Will McAvoy,” he sticks out a hand. _

_ She gives his hand a shake, “nice to meet you Will, I’m Mackenzie McHale.” _

_ “How did you get invited to this?” Will asks. _

_ “My father is the British Ambassador to the UN, he insisted I come tonight since he had a plus one invite and I thought ‘when will I ever get the chance to go to a state dinner again?’ so here I am.” _

_ “I should’ve known from the accent” he teases. He then adds, “it’s nice to meet you too Mackenzie.” _

_ Mac rolls her eyes at his jab about her accent and then gives him a smile, “well since we’re sitting next to each other I guess we’ll be good friends by the end of the night.” _

_ The smile she gave him had him convinced his heart was going to explode. Will usually wasn’t the type to believe in love at first sight but there was something inside of him telling him that this was it. He had to take any opportunity he could to get to know her more.  _

_ “I certainly hope so,” he replies with a smile of his own.  _

**Later That Night**

_ He was right. Will had only spent a few hours with Mackenzie, but he could already find himself falling in love with her. From the minute their conversation went past small talk he felt as if they were old friends catching up rather than strangers meeting for the first time. _

_ They spent the night talking, laughing, and even arguing over Bush’s policies and some of the speeches he had written for the president. Will knew then that she was not only incredibly beautiful, but smarter than him in every way possible. It didn’t bother him in the slightest, in fact it only spurred his interest in her more. Beautiful, witty, humorous, and intelligent? Mackenzie was the entire package and these were only from what he had learned in a few hours spending dinner with her.  _

_ Part of him felt bad for hogging her attention for almost the entire night but the other didn’t because she seemed to enjoy spending the evening chatting with him.  _

_ Even when the dinner ends they don’t part ways immediately, Will offers to walk her to her limo as her father seemed to be walking out with another ambassador, still wrapped up in conversation anyway. Mac of course accepted and took his arm when he offered it, noting that he was quite the gentleman.  _

_ Upon arriving at her limo, Will opens the door to it and turns to be met with her cheeks filling with red as she blushes, “you’re really going all out aren’t you?” _

_ “Who said chivalry was dead?” He smiles from behind the door and watches as she slides into the back of the limo.  _

_ “You almost make me believe it isn’t, McAvoy.” _

_ “Then my goal has been met,” Will replies as he walks around to get one last look at her. _

_ He wasn’t sure if they’d see each other again, but he hoped he made a lasting impression. Maybe this meeting would be one of those that they’d both think fondly back on in the future and wonder how the other is doing. Maybe one day they’d cross paths again. _

_ “It was an absolute pleasure meeting you, Will. I hope to see you again” Mackenzie says as she looks up at him from her seat, a certain twinkle shining in her eyes.  _

_ He smiles, “I have a feeling that we’ll see each other again one day.” _

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There’s a knock at Mackenzie’s office door as she sits doing paperwork, it was late. The show had ended hours ago and Elliot’s had ended well over an hour ago. Everyone was pretty much out of the newsroom besides her and a few other people. Mac had to force Maggie to go home even though the blonde had insisted on staying until the hospital called about Will. Mac insisted that she’d call her in the morning and let her know but just to go home and rest, she needed it after the awful day they all had. 

Mac couldn’t seem to take her own advice, she didn’t want to go home and rest. She needed to be awake when the hospital called and she didn’t care if she got none whatsoever. She was grateful Jim was doing better and would be released in a few days, that was a weight that had been lifted from her shoulders. The weight of Will still not being out of surgery however, was weighing down on her more than anything else. 

“Come in,” she says as she flips a page and continues reading and filling out the paperwork. 

“Have you taken just a moment to shut your brain off today?” Charlie questions as he walks into her office and notices her still working away. 

Mackenzie shrugs, “I’ve not turned off my brain to relax since the day I started working in news.”

“Mac…”

She pauses her work and doesn’t say anything for a few seconds before looking up at Charlie, “I don’t know what else to do. They insisted we leave because of how long Will would be in surgery and I don’t know what else to do to distract my mind from the fact that the last things I said to him were ‘I hate you’ and ‘I don’t want to be anywhere near you for the rest of eternity’.”

“He’s not going to hold that against you, you got into a nasty fight but you’ll make up like you always do.”

Mac scoffs and pushes her chair back from the desk, pulling herself up and walking over toward the window. She peeks out at the lit up city below and sighs, “what happens if this is our last fight?”

“Mac, you can’t think like that. It’s Will, he never goes down without a long and hard fight.”

It’s another minute before she turns back to Charlie. He was right, Will wasn’t one to give up easily. “You’re right. I just wish the damn hospital would give us a call so I could stop worrying so much,” she sighs. That wasn’t completely how it was going to go and she knew it. Mac was still going to worry even when they got the news that Will was out of surgery and stable. She’d probably carry a worry with her for the rest of her life every time he stepped outside. It was still mind boggling that all of this had happened. She knew that Will received death threats, a fair amount of them even, but to think that someone would actually follow through with one? Maybe they should’ve been more prepared. Maybe they were naive to think this would never happen considering how easy it is to obtain a gun in this country.

“Do they even know anything about the gunman? Why he did this?” 

Charlie shakes his head, “the police have released little to no information to us. All we know is that it was someone who left Will a death threat.”

Mac sighs and rubs her temples, the guy is dead, what did it matter if his name was released or not? He was an awful human being and she wanted to know who exactly he was.

As if she had spoken it into existence, Mac’s phone rings from her desk only a minute later. Her eyes go wide and she rushes to her desk, answering the call without bothering to check the caller i.d.. 

“Hello, Mackenzie McHale speaking,” she says right away.

“Mackenzie, I was just calling to let you know that Will is out of surgery, he’s stable and is expected to fully recover.”

There’s a relief that goes through her like none she’s ever experienced before. The crushing weight that’s been on her shoulders all day long finally lifts and it’s like she can finally breathe again. Of course she knew Will still had a recovery process to go through, but what mattered most was that he was okay.

She lets out a sigh of relief, “thank you. Thank you so much for what you’ve done, you don’t know how much this means to all of us.”

“It’s my job and everyone else’s, we’re all relieved that our favorite news anchor is doing better.”

Mac looks over at Charlie and gives him a thumbs up and watches as he lets out a sigh of relief too from the confirmation. 

Thanking the doctor again, Mac hangs up the phone and immediately goes over to Charlie to give him a tight hug. Will was okay and he was going to recover from this horrific incident. 

“As soon as visiting hours start tomorrow you and I are going over there.”

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Perhaps it was silly to want to be by Will’s side when he woke up, not only did visiting hours just begin a couple of minutes ago, but it wasn’t like they were in a relationship. In fact that felt to be the thing they were furthest from: a romantic relationship. Still, that didn’t change how Mackenzie felt. She loved him and knew how absolutely stupid it was of her to say that she hated him. How stupid they both were for fighting so much and not working through the past so they could be together again. If there was one thing today reminded her, it was that life is shorter than any person realizes. Sometimes it feels long, everybody has those days that feel like they’re never going to end. Sometimes it’s not days, not weeks, or even months, sometimes it’s years. In reality, life goes by quicker than anyone notices. One minute you’re a child imagining your future, the next you’re living said future as an adult wondering where all the time went. In this case, Mac was met with the threat of death to someone she loved dearly and it made her remember that one minute someone could be there and the next they could be gone. This wasn’t the first time with Will, but that was a different situation and thankfully her ex wasn’t involved. This tango with death opened her eyes, what was the point in waiting for their future together when it could be ripped away like it almost was today? No more waiting, she needed Will to  _ know _ she loved him. Not just hear it, but understand it. Mackenzie loved him and couldn’t ever see herself loving anyone quite as much. 

The hospital room was quiet except for the heart monitor beeping, Mac and Charlie were sitting on either side of Will, not saying anything as they waited for his eyes to open.

Mac was holding on to Will’s hand, she was sure he probably would be confused by that but it was a reminder (besides the monitor) that he was still there. 

It’s a few more minutes of silence and watching over Will until his eyes finally begin to open. 

Confusion was his first emotion, the last thing he remembered was being tackled by Jim and being both confused as to why and yet impressed that he was able to manage it. It takes him another second to realize that his hand was warm and was being occupied by another’s, a hand he could recognize without even seeing her face. 

Mac’s heart sets off in a sprint when she sees his eyes opening. She was both excited and nervous (given their last conversation) that he was awake. “Billy…” she says softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

Will looks over at Mackenzie and remembers the dream he had about the two of them meeting for the first time. Truth be told, he hadn’t thought about the first time they met in quite some time but reliving it in his mind brought up all of those feelings he tried to push down everyday. 

He gives her a small smile, “I guess that evening wasn’t a total snooze fest,” his voice is somewhat hoarse but still understandable.

Charlie had confusion written all over his face, not at all knowing what Will was talking about. “Are we sure the pain meds coursing through his veins right now haven’t sent him completely off his rocker? Because I have no idea what that means.” 

Mac’s eyes began to tear up, she knew because it was the first thing Will had ever said to her and it made her laugh. No “hi” or “hello” as a starter, but one of his stupid jokes that put a smile on her face from the start. 

She chuckles at Charlie’s confusion and turns to him, “Charlie could you give us a few minutes alone?”

He shrugs, “sure I’ve got nothing better to do than wander a hospital aimlessly at seven in the morning.” 

Charlie stands up from his chair and pats Will’s shoulder gently, “happy to see you awake big guy.”

Will tiredly smiles at his friend, “happy to be awake.”

Mac watches as Charlie goes for the door, “we won’t be too long so don’t wander too far.”

“Take all the time you need,” he says while opening the door, “but I’ll try,” he gives her a wink before walking out and letting the door close behind him. 

Mac smiles seeing Charlie wink, knowing he knew what they were going to talk about. He was rooting for them and always had been and that was part of what pushed her to just tell Will everything.

Feeling her hand being squeezed by his, she turns back to Will and smiles down at him, “so you do dream of me” she jokes, wanting to break the ice and not jump right into what they were both thinking about.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” Will chuckles.

An awkward silence fills the room for a minute or so, Mac wants to apologize to Will but how does one even gather the words to apologize for saying they hated the other?

“Look…” she begins.

“Mac...”

“Just let me say what I need to say. If you want me to leave after then that’s fine but I have to get this off my chest.”

Will goes quiet to let her talk. He knew it had to be about their fight and she wasn’t the only one who felt bad about saying the words, “I hate you”. It should’ve never left his mouth even if she said it first.

Mac looks over at him, “I’ll start by saying that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for  _ so _ many things, not just saying that I hate you. I am sorry for that, it should’ve never even crossed my mind. In fact, I’m not even sure I did because the words came out of my mouth before my brain realized what was happening. I was mad at you, furious, but it was wrong of me to say that I hate you. I’ve had moments where I’ve wanted to kick your ass down a flight of stairs but I’ve never, and will never, hate you,” she pauses as she considers for a second if the next thing she wanted to say was worth it. 

“Can I talk now?” He questions in her brief pause.

Mac ignores his question, “I’m sorry that I cheated on you. That was and always will be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. You deserved a whole lot better than that and I know I keep saying I’m sorry, so much so that I’m pretty sure the word has lost all meaning, but I  _ do  _ mean it when I say it. I ripped your heart in half and then shattered it into a million pieces, you didn’t deserve that. I’ve tried to explain it to you, so maybe one more try wouldn’t hurt. I  _ never _ did it because you weren’t good enough for me. You were and always will be the perfect boyfriend in my eyes. In fact, I wasn’t good enough for you but that’s beside the point. Brian rejected me and when he started reaching out to me again, I felt validated. I started seeing him again and then I realized way too late that I was an idiot because I realized how stupidly in love with you I was.” There’s another couple of seconds where Mac pauses and sighs as she recounts how stupid she had been and how horribly she had treated him. “I told you because not telling you would’ve been worse and I had never been in a relationship like ours, you deserved to know. And I know you can’t forgive me, or don’t want to, but this is my explanation and what you do with it is your choice. But, there is one thing I need you to know and it’s that I love you and I realized today that life is too short not to tell you. I’m always going to love you no matter what happens.”

Mackenzie looks down as she’s met with silence from Will. She didn’t expect him to say that he forgave her, or that he loved her too. At the very least, she just expected an apology for saying he hated her. She knew that he didn’t mean it either. Will didn’t hate a lot of people, he had too big of heart. She couldn’t figure out why he didn’t, big heart or not he had ever right to. 

Letting out a breath and nodding, taking his silence as his answer, Mac gets up from the chair. She thought considering he asked if he could talk he’d have something to say but maybe her words left him stunned. Whatever the case, it was probably best for her to leave now and never talk about this again.

Tossing her purse over her shoulder, Mac goes for the door. Hopefully Charlie hadn’t wandered too far, she’d send him in to say what he wanted to Will and catch a cab to work. 

“I love you too,” Will finally breaks his silence. 

Stopping in her tracks just as she’s about to open the door, she turns, “what?” There was no way she heard him right. Maybe she had fallen asleep at her desk, she was still at work and this was all a dream. There was no way they were actually here and he was saying he loved her right?

“You heard me,” he replies.

Mac begins walking back over to his bed, “you’re going to have to say it again because I don’t believe you,” she insists. 

Will stares up at her, “I love you too.” He reaches for her hand whenever she gets close enough to the bed again, “I’m sorry for saying I hate you, I don’t.”

The disbelief was still soaring through her. This was the response she wanted deep down from him, but the one she never expected. She waited for four, nearing five long years to hear those words come from his mouth again and it felt as good as she imagined. The disbelief was still dominating but soon it would wear off and she’d be in pure bliss.

Sitting down again, Mac scoots her chair closer to the hospital bed, “what about forgiving me?”

“Life’s too short. Besides, I’m pretty sure my subconscious was trying to tell me something by making you the only person I dreamt about while out of it. I think it wanted to remind me how I felt when we first met.”

“How’s that?”

“That I was pretty much in love from the moment we met, but more importantly that you were meant to come into my life. I guess it took me up until now to realize it’s not just as a friend. I never believed in soulmates or any of that stuff, but we’re not meant to be just friends,” Will says confidently.

Mac scoots as close as she can to the bed staring down into his eyes, “what’re you saying Billy?” She was doing what she could to pull every last bit of his feelings.

“That if you don’t marry me then some other idiot who will be nowhere near good enough for you will come along and I’m not going to let that happen.”

Number two on the list of things Mac wasn’t expecting to happen tonight. Was she sure this wasn’t one of her dreams? Sometimes they could get detailed so maybe that’s what this was.

“You better not or you’d be an idiot,” she replies and this time pulls out one of her own surprises. Grabbing both sides of his face, Mac carefully but still eagerly pulls him in for a soft kiss. 

Words weren’t enough to describe just how good it felt for both of them to kiss the other again after so long. It seemed like the world was setting itself back on its axis and everything was shifting back to how it was supposed to be. The world seemed good again (as good as it could get with Will and Jim recovering from his assassination attempt) and no longer in chaos for either of them. 

“Does this mean you’re saying yes?” Will asks as they momentarily break apart.

She gives him a genuine smile, “what do you think?”

He doesn’t give a verbal answer, instead he presses his lips back on hers and carries on kissing her. It felt like something he could do for hours, especially since it had been so long.

Only moments later, there’s a sudden knock at the door and Charlie sticks his head in, “can I come back in? I may or may not have been listening the entire time and I just want to say I’m so happy for the both of you.”

Mac laughs as she pulls her lips away from Will’s and nods, “come in.”

Charlie does just that and Mac readjusts herself next to Will, still holding onto his hand as their friend settles down on the other side of him. 

Will finds himself smiling as the three of them begin chatting. Charlie mentions how he had been waiting for what felt like forever for the two of them to get back together and how happy he was that they finally were. The circumstances weren’t the best, Will was still going to be in a lot of pain over the next several weeks and the healing process meant he’d be out of work for awhile. Regardless, he actually felt good about the future because he knew that as long as he had Mackenzie by his side he could get through just about anything. 

**Author's Note:**

> Not gonna lie, it took me a little while to figure out when exactly Will & Mac would’ve met. I tried figuring out a timeline from the info we were given in the show and I’m almost positive there’s an episode where Will says he’s known Mac since the 90’s. Thus, the idea of them meeting at a state dinner was born. I hope you guys enjoyed that bit, I was super excited to write it. 
> 
> Honestly I always get excited to write but this one as a whole was a lot of fun and different from my other works. 
> 
> I’m rambling so I’ll end with saying as I do with every fic, feel free to leave any feedback you might have. It’s always welcome. Thank you for reading and please leave a kudos if you enjoyed this!


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